If you clicked on this, likely, you relate with the anon who submitted the confession.
Loving your abuser doesn't make it any less then what anyone else has gone through. Trauma cannot be compared with one another. It's an unhealthy thing to do. What you went through was valid, and whether you loved them or not, it's still traumatic and a horrible confusing thing to go through. Many times, perpetrators use a technique called "grooming" where they make the victim feel comfortable, and catch feelings for them. This makes the victim quite vulnerable and willing. It confuses the victim especially afterwards. Someone just simply being nice to you can feel as though someone is out to get you, or on the contrary you may think they are in love with you.
Don't worry friend, you are valid. Don't think your pain is less important. Ever.